Betsy Ellis, LCMHC | (802) 999-9026
86 St Paul Street, Suite 203, Burlington, Vermont 05401
Betsy Ellis, LCMHC | (802) 999-9026
86 St Paul Street, Suite 203, Burlington, Vermont 05401

Everyone has had relationship issues at some point in their lives. It’s universal. I also have been in this rocky place. Once I discovered Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and experienced it for myself, I knew I HAD to get the training and give this gift to other couples. Once I felt my relationship healing and strengthening, I knew we were going to be more than okay. Gradually, we began to be able to have deep and meaningful conversations, both in and outside of therapy. We each felt heard, understood, accepted and safe. It wasn’t easy, but it was so worth the effort. Your mutual participation, honesty, commitment to each other, and openness to the counseling process are all vital factors for the healing process.

You, your partner, and I will begin therapy by having you both explain your relationship struggles. We make space for both of your experiences: even though they may be very different, they are both important. We will talk about your goals, and I will explain EFT in more detail. We do 3 -4 couple sessions, then 1-2 individual sessions for both of you. These individual sessions are focused on your family of origin experiences, including relationships with your main attachment figures and other past romantic relationships. After these sessions, we will come back to couple sessions and remain together for the duration of therapy. If I see the need to recommend individual therapy for one or both of you, I will let you know usually around this time.

During our time together, we will work to understand how your relationship got derailed and what is keeping you disconnected.  We’ll also focus on exploring and communicating your needs, longings, and fears. Along the way, I’ll be guiding you to have more conversations from the heart that will heal, nurture and strengthen your relationship. This is not Communications Skills 101!

My approach to the counseling relationship is one of balance. I believe that no one person is the “problem”; it’s a relationship involving two people. Both partners play a role in the problems and the solutions. I create a safe, open environment where each of you will feel comfortable to share what is troubling you. I listen and speak with my heart. Using deep empathy, I try to feel what you’re feeling in order to enhance my understanding of the problems from each of your perspectives. This also helps you to really feel heard, accepted, understood, and safe. With a focused presence, I stay thoughtfully close to the unfolding of what lies beneath your struggles, arguments, and/or communication problems. Gradually, things will start to heal and improve. This is a journey worth taking for your relationship, for yourself, for your kids (if you have them), and your future.

It is my passion and my honor to help your relationship thrive and flourish; to have it be all that you want it to be!